MOSUO WOMEN – Extreme Form of Polyandrous Family

Marriages are normally known as monogamous, polygamous, or even in rare cases polyandrous. But in the south-western China at the foot of Himalayas bordering Tibet and Northeast India live Mosuo ethnic tribes who follow none but one known as “Waking Marriages.” The families are essentially matriarchal and matrilineal but have a peculiar system of walking marriages in which the women have a choice to call a man for the night who goes away in the morning and may or may not come back next night! The child born out of such a relationship may or may not be known by his/her father. Best part of it is that the whole system, though rare, does not attract any stigma.

By Reeta Rani Nayak

A father’s role is very limited among the Mosuo, ethnic minority. Although they father children, they do not live with them. There are no husbands. A man only shares a bed with his partner at night, heading home in the morning.

Mosuo culture is primarily agrarian, with work based on farming tasks such as raising livestock and growing crops. The people are largely self- sufficient in diet, raising enough for their daily needs. Meat is an important part of their diet and remaining access is preserved through salting or smoking. The Mosuo are renowned for their preserved pork. They produce a local alcoholic beverage made from grain, called sulima, which is similar to strong wine.

Sulima is drunk regularly and usually offered to guests and at ceremonies and festivals.

But as soon as a Mosuo girl becomes old enough, she learns the tasks that she will perform for the rest of her life. Mosuo women do all the housework, including cleaning, tending the fire, cooking, gathering firewood, feeding the livestock, and spinning and weaving. In the past, due to isolation, Mosuo women produced all their own household goods.

Normally, men have no responsibility in Mosuo society— they have no jobs, rest all day, and conserve their strength for night-time visits. However, they do help to bring up the children of their sisters and female cousins, build houses and oversee livestock and fishing.

Men also deal with the slaughter of livestock, in which women never participate. Slaughtered pigs are kept whole and stored in a dry, airy place that keeps them edible for a very long time. This is especially helpful when harsh winters make food scarce.

Mosuo tribes tend to trace their lineage through the female side of the family. Children belong to and reside within their mother’s household and have access to its land and resources. The Mosuo family is headed by a matriarch called “Ah mi”. The Ah mi has absolute power, she decides the fate of all those living under her roof. The matriarch also manages the money and jobs of each family member. When the Ah Mi wishes to pass her duties on to the next generation, she will give this female successor the keys to the household storage, signifying the passing on of property rights and responsibility.

Chuan-Kang Shih, an anthropologist scholar argued that matrilineality and “walking marriage” (tisese) is a primary institution of family, sex and reproduction, and marriage is secondary. Children of parents in a walking marriage are not raised by their father. The brothers of the mother (maternal uncles) in the marriage take on the responsibilities of the father since the father isn’t typically around during the daytime. Due to the separation of the father and mother, it is crucial for the uncle(s) to play a large role in the development of the child.

Shih offers the most sophisticated anthropological account of Mosuo practices of sexual union. “All on-going sexual relationships in Mosuo culture are called “walking marriages.” These bonds are “based on mutual affection.” “When a Mosuo woman or man expresses interest in a potential partner, it is the woman who may give the man permission to visit her.

These visits are usually kept secret, with the man visiting the woman’s house after dark, spending the night, and returning to his own home in the morning.” After the birth of the child, the man has no moral, cultural, or legal obligation to take care of the child. However, the child will be raised with adequate care and attention. The overwhelming support from the woman’s extended family, allows both the man and woman to engage in sexual relations with whomever they please. “While it is possible for a Mosuo woman to change partners as often as she likes, few Mosuo women have more than one partner at a time. Anthropologists call this system “serial monogamy.” Most Mosuo form long-term relationships and do not change partners frequently. Some of these pairings may even last a lifetime.”

The coming-of-age ceremony, which occurs at the age of thirteen, is one of the most important events in a Mosuo child’s life. After coming of age, Mosuo females can get their own private bedroom, called a “flowering room”; and, once past puberty, can begin to invite partners for “walking marriages”. The Mosuo have large extended families with several generations living together in the same house. Everyone lives in communal quarters, and there are no private bedrooms or living areas, except for women between certain ages who may have their own private rooms.”

The couple do not share property. The father usually has little responsibility for his offspring.” However, this does not mean that men can wipe their hands free of responsibilities and spend every night participating in shenanigans. After work, they are obligated to go home and help raise their nieces and nephews. The children rely
on the collective effort of the extended family rather than that of the biological father. “A father may indicate an interest in the upbringing of his children by bringing gifts to the mother’s family. This gives him status within the mother’s family, while not actually making him part of the family.”

Other than the child receiving exceptional care and attention from the extended family, there are many inconspicuous advantages for participating in a walking marriage. For example: divorce is never an issue because the man and woman are not legally bound together, thus sharing very few of the same responsibilities. There are also never any disputes over who owns custody of the child since the child belongs to the mother’s extended family and takes the mother’s last name. In the case of a parent’s death, the child still has a prodigious amount of care and affection from the extended family.

Religion is a major part of Mosuo life. It is made up of two coexisting beliefs: their own syncretic faith called Daba and the influence of Tibetan Buddhism. With improved technology, there are better roads and transportation. Young Mosuo men and women use these modes to leave their villages and find employment in neighboring cities. Television has brought the ideas of the modern world and an image of a more affluent lifestyle. Also, men have begun to take jobs independent of the household and earn their own income. Older Mosuo fear emerging property conflicts as a consequence. Care for the family, with younger children generations leaving the villages, is also a concern.

But 18-year-old Naka faced a tough decision: Is she ready to become the next Dape, the female head of the family? Or will she chase her dreams of
joining a folk dancing group? She chose the easier one, the first one. Bur her cousin Lamu, on the other hand, left the village and is now living in a tourist area. She broke with tradition by getting married amid simmering cultural tensions.

Source: Himalayan News Chronicle